Who do these women think they are?

Women!

Who do they think they are these days? I mean really, they want contraception from the insurance companies?

Well, why would that be? Us guys can get a vasectomy under “office call” for about $40 but why should they have to pay less to the get the painful procedure of getting their tubes tied?

I suppose next they are going to want equal pay for equal work or something. Geez! Why should they make the same amount of money for doing the same kind of work as us superior male creatures?

I suppose a lot of this started with Congress which had the audacity to give women the right to vote. Probably started going downhill from there, I would guess.

Oh, and let us not forget how we men must dictate what women do in the bedroom and in the privacy of a doctor’s office. Hey, we want to keep government out of our lives except, of course, when it comes to women’s health issues. We should be dictating to their doctors what procedures they have to undergo, right? I mean, we are the superior beings and all.

I was shocked earlier this week when people became outraged that during a Congressional hearing about women’s health there were no women on the panel. Why should there be since us males have all the knowledge and the women should be barefoot and pregnant. I’m sure the men on the panel had extremely helpful knowledge about the inner thoughts of women and how they feel about health issues.

And let’s not forget that dang Planned Parenthood thing. I don’t see what’s wrong with certain United States senators getting on the floor of the Senate and throwing out completely false and misleading information. They should have that right since they are all knowing, all powerful U.S. senators with male anatomy, shouldn’t they?

Heck, all you have to do is come back and say it was “not intended to be a factual statement” and the world is now at peace once again.

Or if you are the upstanding Orrin Hatch, the faithful Mormon senator from Utah, you can simply tell lies about Planned Parenthood on the floor of the Senate and then chalk it up to having “misspoke” about the numbers you so ardently attested to when it comes to women’s health. What’s wrong with that? Orrin’s a good, upstanding man and he obviously knows more about women’s health than any woman, right?

To top all of this off, some people are even questioning why some churches around the world won’t give women any positions of leadership. Why would anyone question their motives? Those men who have been running the churches since they were formed obviously know best and if they say women should be subservient, then so be it, right?

Heck, even Pennsylvania native son Rick Santorum has gotten into the action with some of his notions and ideas about the superiority of the male species. We wouldn’t question one of our own, would we? No way. He must know because he’s one of us and again has superior intelligence when it comes to women versus men.

I just can’t get over all this fuss about how women should have a say in their own lives. (Please don’t tell my wife I’m writing this column, she might get mad!) Who do they think they are, anyway, our equals? C’Mon, man!

You see, even that saying has it right as it highlights the superior species.

Okay, I guess I better come clean at this point since I’m so far into this column.

All of the above was written as a parody. All of it, in fact, is exactly the opposite of my true feelings — and I would guess the true feelings of most women in the world.

The recent outbreak of “social issues” concerning women is actually a very sad comment on the state of our society. In my opinion, when it comes to any issues involving women’s health, the men just need to shut their mouths. I don’t care what your opinion is, you have no right to tell a woman what to do or not to do when it comes to her body and health. None. Period. Stupidity.

Why some of these men think they have that right is beyond me. I firmly believe they do feel they are superior in every way and they are going to shove it down the throat of women everywhere.

They are making a very huge mistake and it will bite them very hard. So hard, they will land on their rear-ends when they are tossed out of office.

Some of the conservative political players think this is a winning issue for them to advance their cause — and their wallets as they stay in or enter office. Do they not understand that women make up the majority of the electorate? Are they counting on Catholic women to get behind them because they (the men) say they know what is best when it comes to contraception? That’s a very high stakes calculation and it’s dead wrong.

So men, stop and think about this and then, when all else fails, shut your pie holes and let those who know best decide what is right for them.

Little is editor of The Wayne Independent and can be reached at editor@wayneindependent.com.