Change!  Change?  Change.  Change you can believe in! Change in direction! Change for the better! Chan.., crap, I mean crapshoot! That’s all the change yer gonna git. Elections, presidential and otherwise do not change things. Change is a word with a simple meaning. Primary one in my dictionary is “make or become different”.
 In politics it means nothing. Politicians have a long history using words that have an actual dictionary meaning, but almost never reflect what politicians mean when they mouth ‘em. Yep, even before ole Bill explained what “it” meant. Or George Sr. said (clearly, right into the microphone) “Read my lips, no new taxes”.
 Politicians nearly always call for change. In unison, like a church choir in harmony. Reachin’ crescendo just before ‘bout every election ever held. The only real change they believe in is universal ya know, the name on the door to the office they want to occupy. Otherwise they don’t honestly ever want change. Things jest work way too sweet for ‘em the way it is. That’s always been their way!
 I can think of two presidential elections where someone wasn’t screamin’ “Change” every time a microphone was in the vicinity! Both times, the country was stuck in a long war.
 First, Roosevelt in the midst of W.W.II. Or was it Lincoln? (I heard ‘em say it, but that was so far back?). Regardless, the “anti-change” mantra was “...don’t change horses in midstream...”. Second, more recently, George Jr. (never, ever change George) spoutin’, “...Stay the course...!”
 “Change” for either of them woulda meant changin’ the name on that door. And incumbents (as opposed to un-elected politicians) never want that change!
 I can recall a couple times when change actually happened once the electioneerin’ finally finished. When Reagan came into office (without touting change as his main goal) things changed dramatically! First, almost over night those American hostages Iran had held for over a year came home. Second, President Carters infamous  “misery index” (inflation and the unemployment rate added together) that was killin’ us financially, began to come down. Third, the Berlin Wall, the USSR and communism came down!
 Wow! Change actually happened! The biggest change in those days was philosophical?
 While Jimmy Carter had urged us to, “...turn the thermostat down and wear a sweater...” to “save” our way out of recession. Reagan came into office and boldly proclaimed, “... America, let’s bake a bigger pie and pass it around...”. And we did! Change can happen, but it’s rare as a dodo bird for a politician to make it happen. Almost as rare for them to manage it well, when it happens (spontaneously) on their watch.
 So I’m not all that enthralled when politicians exhort me to vote for “Change”. I’m especially not interested when a politician with five minutes experience (close enough) in politics expounds “Change” ad infinitum! First off, he just ain’t gonna change much in the way the country or the world is operating. Second, after listening (for most of a year) I’ve yet to discern what, exactly he wants to change..., to?
 “Change you can believe in”. Hunh?! First, any prudent person (me) doesn’t believe much of anything that comes out of a politicians mouth. Second, has Anything come out? I mean actually tellin’ us what we’re gonna git with all this “changin’”? Peace? Prosperity? Lower taxes? Universal health care?
 Peace? Nope, peace is not in the cards or on the horizon. There are crazy people around the world who want me (and you) dead.
 Prosperity? That’s tied inexorably to the cost of energy. Today oil is energy. The very folks who want you dead live unhappily on shifting sands under which most of the worlds oil lies. It’s the one and only thing they have to sell (except terrorism) in this world. They intend to sell it (for as much as they can) until every dollar in your pocket..., is in theirs!
 Lower taxes...? That’s controlled by the same politicians who like to mouth the word “change”. I’ll let you figure that one out.
 Universal health care? No politician will ever say it out loud, but we can’t afford it folks! Japan, Sweden, Britain, Canada and others have it, they say? Sure, but what no one asks is, are Americans willing to pay for it? It only requires 55, 65, or 71% (!) taxes on those countries income to support it? You willing to pay those kinds of tax rates? That’s what it costs in those countries. Got yer checkbook out yet?
 Change?
 I Don’t Know About You..., the only “change” I’m real comfortable makin’ is my underwear.

Cal Teeple, sole member of the Observational Cogitation Consortium can often be found three stools down from you. He may be ignored, accosted or contacted at: twinews@wayneindependent.com OR on the Web at: wayneindependent.com.