Like a lot of you folks? It just fries my butt when I call some business and get a machine.
Right away that surreal computer generated voice starts in asking me what language I’d like? As if I’m that one person in 30 or 40 million (?) calling from outside the country? Needin’ to speak swahili or klingon or something?
Hey, it’s America!
I speak English (the American version) and I’d like to speak it with another American (at least another human!).
That is I’d like to speak it. But by then I’m too preoccupied tryin’ to catch which dadgum button I’m 'spose to poke to get any language (hopin’ by chance any human).
But nooo, I’ve gotta jerk the phone away from my ear, focus my old eyes on that little keyboard and poke some other button. Taking a stab at reaching some department, any department with a human. Then get the phone back up to my ear quick enough to see (hear) what else the da&% machine is gonna mutter!
If I’m lucky, it might slip up and say, “if you’d like to speak with a customer representative, remain on the line...”, and there I sit..., on the line! I preferred life when I didn’t need a “representative” to help me do business!
You’d think that a computer trained to do a humans job could be taught to recognize what area code I’m calling from. That I’m calling from right here in America right? Nope, the genius’ (geeks) who trained it weren’t that smart.
But they were smart enough to train me (and you) to jump through their hoops. We do it every time we try to do business with any company big enough to hire a computer to do an actual persons job.
You might also think the people who own these businesses and paid to put that machine in the seat of an actual person (to save a salary) would think about my (our) feelings out here in “customer land” talking with their stupid machines.
You’d think they might want us humans (customers) to stick around as happy customers? Which we might if we "interacted" with other humans on the phone. Instead of fussing and fuming trying to deal with a machine, simply hoping to talk to a real live person.
But the hotshots (geeks) in the computer labs and engineering spend too much time in the break room flirting with the bean counters over in accounting.
Somewhere along the line they convinced other hotshots (MBAs in management) they could “save” money by using machines instead of people to man the phones. Seems these people always manage to “save” money by eliminating the little people (like phone operators).
In their little closed world of numbers, graphs and statistics, they miss out on the real world. Where “feelings” play a large roll in decision making by the actual important people..., customers!
Now I don’t mind all that.
I realize it’s too late to change the way the folks managing “Big Companies” think. And we all recognize what a great job they do up there in “Management” at the Big Companies, right?
Nope! What I really mind (hate) is...? “Voicemail”!
Voicemail is, for small companies, (who can’t afford an actual computer voice) their chance to be just like the “big guys”! Little outfits all over the country (including right here in our “hometown”) have embraced voicemail like a new lover!
From insurance and law offices to stores and (especially) small time banks. They all think this is a time saver. Maybe it is..., for them. They may even consider it a “service” enhancement for their customers.
It’s not.
What it actually is? Another way to let you and I know that on the other end of that phone line (in case you hadn’t noticed)...?
“They’re All So Very Important”
Back in the dark ages (before computer generated voices and “voicemail”) when I was ran my own bank offices, I answered the phone. Sure, my secretary answered first..., but then I answered!
As it happened, I worked for the largest S&L in the country. If you called the president of that company (with 11,000 employees and millions of customers)? Right after his secretary picked up the phone..., He Answered!
Sure, there were little pink pads called “phone message” notes that one could find littering your desk. IF you were out of the office (or Actually Busy) when a call came and you missed it. But if you were actually there, you took the call!
I Don’t Know About You..., I believe business people have lost track of who actually Is Important. Used to be..., The Customer!!
Cal Teeple, Observational Cogitation Consortium founder can be found three stools down. Or At: wayneindependent.com/cal Or At: calteeple@gmail.com He may be ignored, accosted or contacted. He still answers.
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Like a lot of you folks? It just fries my butt when I call some business and get a machine.
Right away that surreal computer generated voice starts in asking me what language I’d like? As if I’m that one person in 30 or 40 million (?) calling from outside the country? Needin’ to speak swahili or klingon or something?
Hey, it’s America!
I speak English (the American version) and I’d like to speak it with another American (at least another human!).
That is I’d like to speak it. But by then I’m too preoccupied tryin’ to catch which dadgum button I’m 'spose to poke to get any language (hopin’ by chance any human).
But nooo, I’ve gotta jerk the phone away from my ear, focus my old eyes on that little keyboard and poke some other button. Taking a stab at reaching some department, any department with a human. Then get the phone back up to my ear quick enough to see (hear) what else the da&% machine is gonna mutter!
If I’m lucky, it might slip up and say, “if you’d like to speak with a customer representative, remain on the line...”, and there I sit..., on the line! I preferred life when I didn’t need a “representative” to help me do business!
You’d think that a computer trained to do a humans job could be taught to recognize what area code I’m calling from. That I’m calling from right here in America right? Nope, the genius’ (geeks) who trained it weren’t that smart.
But they were smart enough to train me (and you) to jump through their hoops. We do it every time we try to do business with any company big enough to hire a computer to do an actual persons job.
You might also think the people who own these businesses and paid to put that machine in the seat of an actual person (to save a salary) would think about my (our) feelings out here in “customer land” talking with their stupid machines.
You’d think they might want us humans (customers) to stick around as happy customers? Which we might if we "interacted" with other humans on the phone. Instead of fussing and fuming trying to deal with a machine, simply hoping to talk to a real live person.
But the hotshots (geeks) in the computer labs and engineering spend too much time in the break room flirting with the bean counters over in accounting.
Somewhere along the line they convinced other hotshots (MBAs in management) they could “save” money by using machines instead of people to man the phones. Seems these people always manage to “save” money by eliminating the little people (like phone operators).
In their little closed world of numbers, graphs and statistics, they miss out on the real world. Where “feelings” play a large roll in decision making by the actual important people..., customers!
Now I don’t mind all that.
I realize it’s too late to change the way the folks managing “Big Companies” think. And we all recognize what a great job they do up there in “Management” at the Big Companies, right?
Nope! What I really mind (hate) is...? “Voicemail”!
Voicemail is, for small companies, (who can’t afford an actual computer voice) their chance to be just like the “big guys”! Little outfits all over the country (including right here in our “hometown”) have embraced voicemail like a new lover!
From insurance and law offices to stores and (especially) small time banks. They all think this is a time saver. Maybe it is..., for them. They may even consider it a “service” enhancement for their customers.
It’s not.
What it actually is? Another way to let you and I know that on the other end of that phone line (in case you hadn’t noticed)...?
“They’re All So Very Important”
Back in the dark ages (before computer generated voices and “voicemail”) when I was ran my own bank offices, I answered the phone. Sure, my secretary answered first..., but then I answered!
As it happened, I worked for the largest S&L in the country. If you called the president of that company (with 11,000 employees and millions of customers)? Right after his secretary picked up the phone..., He Answered!
Sure, there were little pink pads called “phone message” notes that one could find littering your desk. IF you were out of the office (or Actually Busy) when a call came and you missed it. But if you were actually there, you took the call!
I Don’t Know About You..., I believe business people have lost track of who actually Is Important. Used to be..., The Customer!!
Cal Teeple, Observational Cogitation Consortium founder can be found three stools down. Or At: wayneindependent.com/cal Or At: calteeple@gmail.com He may be ignored, accosted or contacted. He still answers.
