Fines, penalties, jail and more, Oh my! If you can’t control the firebug in ya, you’re about to get burned by much more than sparks from your backyard fire pit (not sure you’ll even git to keep a fire pit!). If enacted, this might even spread to other townships?
 The Texas Board of Supervisors apparently have allowed the smoke to blow up..., er, into their eyes. But they’re not gonna let it blow over you any more! Fanned by those (select few) amongst us who can’t leave their neighbors alone to live life as they please. These little groups have been attending the township meetings (tendin’ to your business). While you were lolling around finishin’ supper and maybe burnin’ your waste paper out in your own backyard.
 For months now many (?) of us have followed newspaper reports while the subject of burnin’ trash has been a hot topic discussed at township meetings. I went to one or two awhile back. But then like you, I let it kinda slip onto the back burner? My mistake an’ I admit it. I did put in a fair showing of my feelings in a column and appearance at the early meetings. The column was read into the record (at the supervisors insistence). But it’s effect musta been short lived?
 I borrowed a copy of the (proposed) ordinance the other day. Kinda checkin’ up on how far along the legislative flames had spread? Still feelin’ the heat as it sits smolderin’ here on my ole desk!
 Lotsa fancy words about hearings, fines, enforcement, imprisonment, remedies, appeals, compliance, setbacks, emergencies, standards, nuisances (thinkin’ that ones fer me?). All kinds of highfalutin words tellin’ you where, when, how, an’ even IF yer gonna be allowed to burn Anything in Your backyard.
 And to paraphrase (quote, close enough) our fledgeling zoning officer (soon to be promoted “enforcement officer”?). In talkin’ about all this in the papers, “...that pretty much puts White Mills and Seelyville out of burnin’...” Referring to who “might” be allowed to burn their paper trash.
 Now if you’ve kept up on the newspaper reports, this same feller said (again paraphrasing) “...I can enter anybody's property anytime, as zoning officer...” He just mighta been neglectin’ the 4th amendment to the U.S. constitution there?
 I could be wrong (don’t think so) same felller also said “... we don’t even need a burn ban, we’ve already got the International Property Maintenance Code...” Now somehow that wording has gotten into this snazzy, new proposed “ordinance”. And it’s all about to become “the law of the land” (your backyard). Yep! It’s in there!
 Geez! Hasn’t our federal government been objectin’ for years to the “International Tribunal” (court) over there in the Hague, tryin’ to prosecute American citizens?! Now here we’ve got an “International Code” bein’ introduced..., Right into Your Backyard! Takes my breath away! Worse than a little backyard BBQ (oops, trash) smoke!
 Now I’m not puttin’ the spotlight on any one person here. But our Texas supervisors are listenin’ to the few folks in the little groups I mentioned before. Those who want everyone else to act like big city folks and dutifully send All their trash to the landfill. And them who seem to think burnin’ mattresses’ an’ diapers in the backyard is stylish fer charbroilin’ their marshmallows.
 Then there’s you an’ me. Folks who’ve been burning paper trash in their backyard for generations without annoyin’ our neighbors (they burn too). Neighbors doing the same things, with some semblance of consideration for others. We’ve never needed “laws” to show us how to be accommodating. We’ve not needed the “government” to intrude into our backyards, teachin’ us how to be good neighbors and citizens.
 But! Yer about to get another lesson in how they do it “somewhere” else (somewhere bigger, better, wiser, than us?). You’re about to be told (“enforced”) to quit burning your stuff out back, in your yard, on your property.
 All because of the few, (inconsiderate morons) The proud, (environmental whiners) The lazy, (you who didn’t speak up) couldn’t deal with things as neighbors (leaving you an’ me alone!). Nope, now we gotta have an “Ordinance”?!
 IF you want to influence just how bad it’ll be? You might wanna git down to the upcoming township meeting! Monday Night long ‘bout 7pm. OR you could just go to the fair and ignore it. But when you wake up five days after this new law’s been “enacted” you’d better not burn any trash the kids dragged home!
 I Don’t Know About You... I’ll believe I’ll go down to the meetin’ (just to heat up the opinions).
Cal Teeple, sole member of the Observational Cogitation Consortium often found three stools down, may be ignored, accosted or contacted at: wayneindependent.com/cal