Although it’s early in the season? The number of sick people around seems to be expanding. Normally I only find ‘em three stools down come winter time.
Being a transplant recipient, I take special note of anyone sneezin’, coughin’ (or honkin’ a runny snozzola) nearby. Folks like me (and there are a lot more of ‘em than you think) are a whole lot more cautious than you. We have to do our level best to avoid catchin’ not just a cold..., but Anything! After all, a sniffle for you, is a cold for us. And while a cold might lead to the flu for you? It can be a death sentence for us. Just one of the (many logical) reasons I still smoke. I’ve always figured the toxic chemicals in cigarette smoke kills off at least some of the (lesser) germs floating around me at any given moment. Hey! It’s worked so far! Dangerously, I’m again (continuously) in the process of quitting that terrible habit. And if I do? There goes one of my primary self-preservation techniques! (there’s Always tradeoffs, ya know?). I’m thinkin’ maybe I’ll start wearing a surgical mask instead. Figurin' that just may be better for my health than smoking? Even though I’m not completely convinced on that score? It should (at least) discourage people (sick or otherwise) from sittin’ closer than three stools down!  Maybe it’ll even help cut down on the interruptions while I peruse the (free) newspapers?
Lately I’m so serious about gittin’ healthy, I’ve even taken to eatin’ the occasional fruit or vegetable.
Speaking of health, I take a lot of healthy pills. Varies somewhat, but most transplant recipients take anywhere from few..., to several handfuls daily.
Personally I get a kick when I pop open my little pill box at the lunch counter. My “morning dose” as I call ‘em, makes an impressive show as the lid flips back. Almost invariably someone (surreptitiously) glances over. I sometimes oblige their curiosity by offering, “Want some, they’re tastier than they look”. Seldom get any takers. But if there’s a flicker of interest? I’m quick to add, “The colors are real nice, but not one of ‘em will get ya high” (phooey!).
Transplantees gobble a lot of pills, tablets, capsules and such daily, just to “suppress” our immune systems.
Which is different from say..., suppressing the press? That only involves some reporter being informed that he can’t inform you. I’ve heard it can get more serious in some countries?  A reporter might get locked up (or beheaded). But around here it’s usually just enough to hide some elected officials’ nefarious sex scandal.
Whereas with immune system suppression (sometimes called inhibiters). It’s like a flashin’ neon sign, informin’ germs you’d love ‘em to drop by.
Once they do? They find a better “host” than the best on the late night talk shows. Then they invite all their in-laws, outlaws and friends to “Come on over, we got a live one here!” Germs grow less inhibited with each passing day. Sometimes they get so carried away, they take over the host completely. That’s when they throw a real killer party!
So I hope you can understand why I (and people like me) are bit more observant when you come in, sit down, order a coffee..., and commence sniffling! I’ve been known to slide down a few stools. I’ve even been known to abruptly git up an’ up and leave. Not before fishin’ out a couple bills to cover the coffee and tip (I mean I do wanna be able to return, once you’re gone).
Anyway I’m not sure if it’s because we’ve only had three or four sunny days this year? Or just something in the air? But it seems to me more “sick” people are out and about earlier this year.
Now I wouldn’t want those among you carryin’ those few extra germs around to feel slighted (just because you’re endangerin’ me and my friends). But I might secretly be wishin’ you’d have visited some other place. Any place where me and my fellow transplantees aren’t.
I’m certainly not suggesting you shoulda just stayed home? Oh wait, Yes I Am! But I’m too polite to come right out and say it. I’ll even bet your coworkers would’ve appreciated it (almost as much as me). Unlike you, while you perch nearby sneezin’ (without covering) an’ blowin’ yer nose seventeen times over your cup a joe?

I Don’t Know About You..., When I’ve got the sniffles? I stay home, makin’ every effort not to die (or kill you). Cal Teeple, Observational Cogitation Consortium founder may be found (cowering) three stools down. As well as at: www.wayneindependent.com/cal Or by e-mail At: calteeple@gmail.com. He is happy to be ignored, contacted or accosted in all three places (long as you’re not sniffling).