Might be best to clean up your backside first! One should always keep in mind, before you start trying to attract everyones attention..., it behooves ya to take a critical look at your “overall” appearance. After all, shinin’ up your shoes, pressin’ those pants, tuckin’ yer shirt in just right, won’t mean much if your backside is uhh, let’s just say, “not presentable”?
 Granted, it might be ok if the plumber up under your kitchen cabinets fixin’ leaky pipes, accidently exposes a little too much backside? (not really). When you’re settin’ out to make a big impression, it’s simply not acceptable! (unless I’m hopelessly out of date?).
 To my way of thinkin’ folks, this applies to Towns, just as much as personal appearances!
 Over the years, our little country seat (I meant County) has embarked on any number of “personal appearance” upgrades. I recall many years ago, the Town Fathers got together with business owners to “put that best foot forward”. They decided to paint, clean an’ spiff up storefronts all along Main Street. It was a grand success!
 Just about everyone got involved. Before you could click yer heels three times, Main Street looked like a picture book cover of small towns. Things got so clean ‘n shiny, the town was awarded some kinda award for being the, “Cleanest Town in America” (maybe just Pennsylvania?). Mighta even won that title a couple times?
 Then a few years back (thinkin’ smaller, I suspect) the town fathers (somebody?) came up with another fancy idee. So they went around encouraging the business community with a unique (dubious?) “pretty up the town” project. (main street anyway).
 Main Street was lookin’ pretty good (at street level) but a little “something” was missing? Turns out it was a lack of business or lighting (or tenants) up there “above” main street!
 Sure enough, the second (and third) floors of the town were so empty it was creating an eyesore. A mere glimpse up there by folks (tourists) was enough to hurt business, they claimed.
 Seems with sidewalks so clean, folks could glance up without fear of tripping (‘cept in winter?) and were noticin’ all those empty (!) windows.
 Soon the recommendations went out. Let’s install curtains in all those vacant indows! Maybe even turn on some night lights up there in the evenin’s? Make it “appear” as if all that empty space was bein’ used (for something).
 Surprisingly, a good deal of the building owners joined in on this project. They went to buyin’ patterns, measuring, cuttin’, sewin’ an’ pressin’ and finally..., Hanging Curtains!
 Guess what? It made a nice difference in the appearance of Main Street!
 When you’re a small town you’ve gotta do whatever it takes to “keep up appearances”. You never know who might be taking a look (or second look) at you. Giving credit where credit’s due, this town has always done a pretty fair job of puttin’ it’s best foot forward.
 Now this brings me ‘round to the focal point of this little story. Our county seats “backside” (no pun intended).
 No Real attention gits paid to it’s backside! (case yer wonderin’ where I mean?) It “moons” the length of the RR tracks, between Commercial and Main.
 Used to hardly git noticed? No one went “‘round back”. Nowadays, Commercial Street’s busy with visitors and locals alike. Scoutin’ out short cuts, avoidin’ (mostly “parrked”) traffic on Main. The farmers market ‘bout fills up with folks every weekend. Why, even the new “Welcome Center” sits over there!
 I’d bet money, a good many out of town folks (prospective business folks?) have taken a long, hard look at our towns “backside”! The rearend of buildings backing those RR tracks look like they sprung from slums of Newark or Philly maybe? Anywhere but our pristine little county seats backside!
 Local (hopeful) officials referrin’ to it as an “historical trackside” area? Doesn’t alter its abysmal appearance!
 Take an honest gander yerself at the “backside” of (nearly) Every Building viewed from Commercial Street (or that fancy Visitors Center).
 Like so many (excercise challenged) backsides, it leaves a terrible impression on the eye!
How about a little idea I have? (yeah I know, I have too many). Let’s All encourage the “Town Fathers” to work on curing this visual blight! I realize it’ll be hard, spending (mostly) local business peoples money.
 First, we’ll hafta pry our leaders eyes up, from scannin’ the grass in the park (for dog poop). Then git ‘em focused on something bigger (the towns Ugly Backside!).
 I Don’t Know About You..., P-o-o-p in the park might be messy? But those ugly buildings? Really  look like s---, (oops, P-o-o-p!)
 Cal Teeple, often found three stools down, Or At: www.wayneindependent.com/cal Or At: calteeple@gmail.com Founder of the Observational Cogitation Consortium may be ignored, accosted or contacted in all three.