Laws of mother nature are hard to change. They’re something most normal folks naturally coexist with and abide by. But this bein’ America, we’ve gotta have (pay) someone (government inspectors) smarter than the rest of us to check up on mother nature, and our relationship with her. If only to reassure us we’ll live through next week (or at least until we can retire to somewhere else).
A couple ways those smart folks (?) measure this, is by keeping a close eye on our air and water. Around here (if you believe their studies) we’ve somehow managed (apparently completely accidentally) to live within mother natures laws.
Certainly our air is pretty good most of the time? I’m just going by the fact that most days we can see for miles and we remain upright and breathing. Oh, and more important, most days that little graph on the weather channel says our air is “moderately” good. Another way to tell our local air is “high quality”? Lotsa days things don’t smell too bad.
One pretty good reason our air and water might be so good?
We’ve pretty much closed down all real industry locally (nationwide). We’re taught it’s a good thing we got rid of all those nasty polluting industries when we did (in the nick of time!). By doin’ this, we’ve eliminated most of the threat that they posed to our air and water (which somehow survived 200 years). Only thing left in danger there? Those (once) fat wallets and checkbooks of all those (former) working people.
Amazingly those government air and water testers down at the DEP tell us that despite all those years of industries spewing smoke, poisons (and paychecks) around here, we’ve still got “high quality” water (somehow!).
Imagine that! Apparently we unwitting Pennsylvania folk occupy an area that’s just filthy with clean air. And equally as special, we’ve got Quality Water!! All sorts of reassurin’ terms are being bantered about. Terms like “High Quality” and “Pristine” describe the water found around here. This is something much of the world (even here in the USA) is nearly doing without.
But now it appears our closing up those nasty water and air polluting (family supporting) industries wasn’t enough? Even sending ‘em far away, somewhere where water an’ air aren’t so important (but jobs are) isn’t enough to protect us.
Now those guv'mint inspectors down at the DEP tell us, we’re still endangering ourselves! Yep! You and I are a danger to ourselves, simply by living. Well, not ourselves exactly..., but “Our Water”!!
You and me, just doin’ our thing..., living and breathing, eating and drinking and finally umm, following mother nature rules, “eliminating” our waste (formerly known as, taking a dump), is deadly dangerous! Yep! Don’t even need truckloads anymore, our "personal" dumping, has now become the problem!
We each “dump” enough daily to endanger our water (and therefore ourselves?). Lucky for us, those smart folks over at the DEP found a solution to our problem! (Between you and me? My Granddad used to refer to these kinda folks as, “Educated, Damn Fools!”).
Since it’s pretty hard to stop the downhill flow of, umm, mother natures process of elimination? Those DEP experts came up with the next best thing! Their solution requires that you and I merely eliminate our dumping!
Because some folks may find it hard to comply with this government ruling? They’ve decided to eliminate any place you can put it.
So their new rules say, no new septic tanks!
If you already possess one, you must stop using it (or pump it out after each use). This way we can maintain that “Pristine Water” (which we’ve had right along).
I Don’t Know About You..., I'm afraid the only thing this will accomplish is raisin’ the rates for septic tank pumping!
Cal Teeple, found here on Fridays, and three stools down other days. The founder of the Observational Cogitation Consortium may also be ignored, accosted or contacted At: calteeple@gmail.com Or At: www.wayneindependent.com/cal.
