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Wayne Independent - Honesdale, PA
  • Why I won't be President

  • My good friend and colleague Melissa Leet made a comment to me the other day following one of our interesting newsroom discussions.
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  • My good friend and colleague Melissa Leet made a comment to me the other day following one of our interesting newsroom discussions.
    I don't even remember the substance of the conversation, but her comment was something to the effect of, "That's why you will never be President."
    Well, she does make a good point — I will never be President.
    It's not that I wouldn't like to be President because I think it would be a blast. No house payment, personal drivers and pilots every day and what is likely some of the best food on the planet.
    But, alas, Melissa is right. I will never be President.
    I'm not exactly sure of her reasoning, but I have my suspicions.
    One obvious reason is that I tell the truth. This is a lost art in today's political climate.
    I mean really, we now have people who do nothing but "fact check" after candidates speak. If we have gotten to that point, it pretty much means all politicians are living in their own worlds. They are all fueled by handlers and party wonks who tell them what to say and how to say it.
    Another reason I won't be President is because I say what's on my mind. In other words, political correctness just isn't in my wheelhouse.
    For example, if I had to give a state of the union address, it would not be pretty.
    I wouldn't get up there and ask both sides to work together, I'd tell them to do so in no uncertain terms.
    I would likely also use many "colorful metaphors" when giving speeches.
    "That Syrian a**hole needs to be shot in the head and killed. That's what needs to be happen, damn it."
    I would likely use even stronger language when talking off the cuff without the use of a teleprompter and pre-written speeches. Heck, I doubt I'd have pre-written speeches.
    Anytime I give a speech, I jot a few notes down on an index card and then just wing it when the time comes. I feel like that's the best way to express your point.
    Page 2 of 3 - Another reason I will never be President.
    This would most likely get me in trouble during press conferences when those moron journalists (you know who you, er, moving on!) pose dumb questions.
    I'm sure one of these geniuses would ask something about boxers or briefs and I would just go off.
    "We have children who are so far behind in education it will damage our country forever and you want to know about my f**** underwear?" I would counter. "Dumb journalists!"
    Another reason it will never happen is that I have common sense.
    I know what a cutting edge on a snowplow is and can also hook up a home stereo system.
    That's having some common sense.
    I don't know about you, but I have seen very little common sense lately when it comes to our political leaders.
    If they have it, they aren't showing it. I personally think they don't have it and live in a world where the average person is so out of their realm of thinking it doesn't even occur to them what real life is all about.
    Again, that's why I will never be President.
    Probably the main reason I will never be President is because I have no wealth. These days, it seems, those of much higher monetary status than myself are the ones who run for office.
    Unless I start playing the lottery, that's just not going to happen.
    That might be the saddest reason of all why I will never be President. We have gotten so far away from the dream of our founders that money is now how elections are decided.
    The boys in Philadelphia had a vision of the common man being able to rise to the pinnacles of political power and make a true difference in the lives of the citizens.
    That vision is only a blur from the past as money and greed are now the driving forces behind gaining that power.
    Page 3 of 3 - That is the saddest comment of all.
    But I'd still like to be President.
    Little is editor of The Wayne Independent and can be reached at editor@wayneindependent.com.
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